As much as important self-care is, it is often a very disturbing and unbeautiful at the same time.
It is making a thorough evaluation of your debt, incorporating a morning routine, cooking healthy meals, and no running from problems anymore, but face them directly instead.
Oftentimes, self-care means doing the worst or the least pleasant things you have to do, such as getting a second job to earn more money, telling an abusive partner or friend that you are done with them, or sweating in the gym to get fitter. It might be looking for a way to accept yourself so that you are not chronically tired from trying to be everything and then taking breaks from this mess by enjoying a hot bath and reading a good book.
A world in which topics like self-care or self love are all the rage in terms of being fancy, is a world that is sick. Self-care is not supposed to be something that we turn to in order to resolve a difficult situation or relax from being exhausted.
Real self-care is not about salt baths, chocolate cake, or a good book. It is about making the right choice, the choice to not build a life you need to escape from on a regular basis.
Self-care is facing your fears, disappointments, and failures and re-strategizing. It is refusing to satiate your immediate desires, but letting go and choosing new. It is disappointed some people and sacrificing for others. It is living a life which some people will never will, or simply cannot.
It is letting yourself be regular, exceptional, and NORMAL, whether this means having a dirty kitchen or realizing that your goal is not hanging with fake friends or having abs. It is realizing how much of your anxiety stems from not actualizing your potential and how much from the way you have been trained to think prior you knew what was actually happening.
The act of self-care has become yet another thing women are expected to be good at. Did you use the right filter for that ‘gram of your impeccably prepared acai bowl? Are the candles you just lit in your Snap story made from organic hand-poured soy or are they that mass-produced factory shit? And how can we stem the inevitable capitalist tide from turning something as simple as self-care into yet another thing to be bought and sold? These are all things I wrestle with as I order Dominos in sweatpants under the guise of ‘being good to myself.’ – quote via Amil Niazi
If you often indulge in consumer self-care, it means that you are not in tune in actual self-care, which has nothing to do with “treating yourself”.
It is not using your unreasonable life as an excuse for justification for self-sabotage. It is taking care of yourself, facing the problems that need to be fixed, and becoming the person you want to be. Ultimately, it is becoming a person who knows that taking salt bath and indulging in chocolate is a way to enjoy life, not a way to escape from it.